Sunday, August 15, 2010
The apple of my eye
I don't know how many times I can say it, or how many different ways, but:
my little girl is growing up.
Last weekend in NY, I had such a hard time being without her. I was ready to leave Friday afternoon and come home to her little arms and C lo smell. I missed her presence. I missed her love.
I knew she was fine without me. Daddy takes amazing care of her, and they had all kind of fantastic plans for the whole weekend.
But I missed her
My superfriend and roomie, Angel, said we could leave at any time. She would drive me the 8 hours home if I needed to be with my baby girl.
And for that? (And a million other reasons) I love her.
And so I stayed.
And Chloe was fine.
And I was fine.
And when I got home? My little girl hugged me SO hard, and made me feel whole again.
But here is the problem. This little girl is just that. A little girl. She isn't a baby. She is becoming SO independent. She walks and talks and does her own thing. I always get compliments that she is so well-adjusted. I should be thankful, but inside? I'm just a little sad.
I want her to need me. I NEED her to need me.
I can't have any more kids....babies...and I need my baby to stay a baby until I'm ready.
I just don't know that I'll ever be ready.