Sunday, August 15, 2010

The apple of my eye

I don't know how many times I can say it, or how many different ways, but:

my little girl is growing up.

Last weekend in NY, I had such a hard time being without her.  I was ready to leave Friday afternoon and come home to her little arms and C lo smell.  I missed her presence.  I missed her love.

I knew she was fine without me.  Daddy takes amazing care of her, and they had all kind of fantastic plans for the whole weekend.

But I missed her

My superfriend and roomie, Angel, said we could leave at any time.  She would drive me the 8 hours home if I needed to be with my baby girl.

And for that? (And a million other reasons) I love her.

And so I stayed.

And Chloe was fine.

And I was fine.

And when I got home?  My little girl hugged me SO hard, and made me feel whole again.

But here is the problem.  This little girl is just that.  A little girl.  She isn't a baby.  She is becoming SO independent.  She walks and talks and does her own thing.  I always get compliments that she is so well-adjusted.  I should be thankful, but inside?  I'm just a little sad.

I want her to need me.  I NEED her to need me.

I can't have any more kids....babies...and I need my baby to stay a baby until I'm ready.

I just don't know that I'll ever be ready.


  1. ok, first of all that picture is PRICELESS.

    second of all, i hear you loud and clear. jackson is registered for a 2 yr old preschool program starting in a few weeks and i just cannot believe it.

    as for you not having any more babies... i've got nothing for you but love in my heart.

    simply put, you have a beautiful family.

  2. You are never ready for them to grow up.

    did I hear that you are in my neck of the woods.

    How did I not know that before.

    Countess Mo has good things to say about you and so I must love you because she does :OP