Sunday, September 27, 2009

marks

I asked Nic @MyBottlesUp  to write a guest post for me, since I felt I needed a change of .....everything, and because she is one amazing woman and equally amazing writer, she obliged.

Thank you Nicole for everything you do.  For being my go-to gal when it comes to fevers, diarrhea, allergies, and life.  You are my fairy godmother....guardian angel....sister from another mother.

Thank you for being you.  I love you.

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i guess i should first say that i prefer to write in all lowercase letters.  second of all, many thanks to my girl, my love, sara for asking me to guest post for her.  (personally, i think she's just being a lazy ass and not wanting to write herself, but nevertheless, i shall oblige because after all, she's my gurl).

on with my post... my words...  my voice...

i developed an affinity for tattoos years ago.  ink.  needles containing colors that forever mark your skin.  the tattoos i have represent an ongoing
story for me and will continue to do so.  my story is important to me.  my tattoos are important to me.  and while my love for ink may have began as a 20 something college kid, it's developed into something so much more.  it has matured, as have i.

it is a story that i will one day share with my son.

jackson (17 months now) already points at and runs his delicate, precious fingers over the tattoos on my wrists. he has never known me without them.

i have marks.  we all have marks.  women and mothers have marks. both seen and unseen.  known and unknown.  visible and invisible.

whether our marks are as outward as some of mine, or as inward as mothers who struggle with PPD...  they are all marks.  leaving their own impression.  making their own stance.  and leaving us mothers forever changed and searching for a way to heal.

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jackson was born via c-section.  so i have a scar on my lower abdomen, near my pubic bone.  that's how my son came into this world.

i love my c-section scar.

i imagine that mothers who have delivered their babies vaginally (pain and suffering aside, though i'm not sure one can put that aside... then again i haven't blasted a human out of my vag, so i don't know)... have scars, if not internally also externally.

again, a healing must take place.

a scar takes time.

i take pride in my scar.  it may not be in my nether regions where i did not have to be sewn up, but there is a sense of pride that i have in my c-section scar.  i see it with each shower i take and think to myself "that's where the magoo exited my body."

**********

being a tattooed mother, an "inked" mother... i have endured criticism (bleh)... judgment (eh, suck it!)... and looks from strangers who i imagine look at me and think whateverthehell they want to think.

but in being a mother with tattoos...  tattoos that my
story continues to manifest itself in ink, gives me pride.

**********

kids love stories.  kids love marks, scars, scrapes, bruises.  they want to know "where'd ya get that?"  and i get to be one of "those inked moms" who shares with my son my
story when the time is right.

it's my hope that judgment aside, women and mothers learn to accept and embrace each other not only for their similarities in being mothers, in enduring sleepless nights, engorged breasts, etc, etc... but also in those differences that makes us truly unique women...  leaving our own mark on this world in the form of our children.

cheers,

12 comments:

  1. God you are such a beautiful writer, mom , wife, friend, tattoo having, shoeless, survior, and person. I couldn't agree with you more. I love that we live in a place where we can all do our mothering gigs in different ways and raise wonderfully different, beautiful children.
    I am to afraid to get a tattoo, but I LOVE yours and all my friends' tats. I am just such a baby. Pretty much the only reason I don't have any. Lord knows I got some scars that I feel should be more visable at times.
    You made me so proud of you today. I am so lucky to have you as a friend.
    P.S. I lurves you too, Sara!!

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  2. Thank you again, Nic for speaking out, not only now, but in your previous post....as a survivor.

    <3

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  3. *MUAH* i really do hope all the recent judgment (via internet, blogs, etc) will stop and women will remember that we all have our own marks... but the best mark we can leave and offer to this world is our kids.

    now let's all make out.... i mean, hold hands and be friends.

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  4. I am getting my first tattoo in Nov. I have been wanting one for a really long time but I have been too afraid of what people thought. I will not be afraid of other people thoughts any more.

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  5. Why are you waiting so long? Anticipation makes things worse! I finally got one that everyone can see in the summer, but is covered mostly in fall and winter. My feet come together to form a celtic butterfly. Very beautiful torepresent the growth I have been through and emerged from over the past very difficult year. My hubs was on travel and my kids were in camp and I just went and did it. Then, in August, my kids ticked me off after a very long day of doc appts. I had wanted my nose pierced, my daughter said she'd be mortified if I did it, so the kids went with me to get it done. I felt so much better and I love how it looks. My in-laws were very judgemental about both items. My parents thought, oh, that's our free-spirited daughter. I thank my parents for that every day and hope I am raising my kids to be free thinkers and free-spirited.

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  6. I don't have any tatoos but I have a banged up/scarred body and soul. Motherhood brought some of that to me but it also brought its own kind of beauty. This beauty is not for the world to see but for only for me and my boys. And that is enough.

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  7. this. was. awesome. nic does it again. love it.

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  8. Our marks and scars make us who we are. No one should judge us for them.

    I love tattoos. I don't have any but I love them. I love to imagine the stories and inspiration behind them.

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  9. You both are awesome writers, such beautiful and inspiring woman. I am glad to be able to read your blogs each day! I myself have a tattoo, and plan to have several more. Each representing something/someone special in my life. I will not let anyone else judge me for that. I am me, my children & family love me & my "scars"...

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  10. 2princess: good for you. i am glad that you have found your own voice and means of personal expression, regardless of what other people think.

    anonymous: same to you. i don't know you, but i'm proud of you for doing what YOU wanted to do. seeing some of my own tattoos every day helps to remind of certain things and events that i always want to be aware of.

    kyslp: well said. very well said, indeed. hugs.

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  11. You are so right about scars being both inner and outer. They are all the same and they all unite us as mothers, sisters, wives, friends. I wish we could all think as the warriors that we truly are - warriors of life and motherhood and sisterhood. I think tattoes are a wonderful way to symbolise your own story and i would never judge another woman on the outside -ever or the inside for that matter. I think your post brings awareness of the need to see us as essentially the same - we all need love and acceptance and support, no matter where those scars might lie. Thank you for inspiring me today Nic. You are an amazing person.
    Tricia :) And thanks Sara for sharing her on your blog :)

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  12. I love my ink and am planning more. On another note, I love both you girls!

    xoxo

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