I found this out by going to leave him a silly facebook comment, only to find that his page had been turned into a memorial for him.
I was shocked, to say the least.
It wasn't until I spoke with his wife this evening that I really became saddened by the news. Ok, I don't think that really explains how I feel. I feel like somebody punched me in the gut. I feel sick. I feel absolutely horrible. Maybe devastated? I don't know.
I'm not sure if I feel this way because my friend is gone, or because I have no idea why he took his life. I know he was having money issues. I know he had a lot of things going on in his life.
Or maybe it is because of the circumstances surrounding his death. His wife was at work, and couldn't reach him on the phone all day. She thought he was sleeping, and just wasn't picking up the phone. She came home, only to find him in the basement, lifeless.
I don't know how he took his life. I didn't think it was my place to ask.
I cannot imagine how traumatic it must have been for his wife to come home and find her husband. Dead.
I cannot even wrap my mind around what must have been going through his mind...what kind of emotions he must have been feeling...to take his own life.
To leave behind a new wife.
To leave behind a new daughter.
A daughter only 10 months old. 2 months older than Chloe.
He was 26.