Well well well....I started this post with no idea in mind, so I guess I will just type whatever comes into my head.
I still think about Maddie and her family every day. I cannot even fathom my life without my little girl. When we are home together, I just look at her and wonder at the girl that she will become someday. I can't even wrap my mind around the fact that she will be a grown WOMAN! Right now I want her to stay the same age: 4 months is perfect. I don't mind the diapers, I don't mind the bottles and feedings at night (only 1), then one again around 6 am (which is still night for me!) I'm a little bit afraid for her to grow up. I only want one child, so....this is it. I don't get a redo of these moments. Sheesh, I had better get my camera out more often.
Speaking of which, I really want an SLR. Digital, of course. I have always loved photography (even had my own darkroom), but haven't had a decent camera in years. I miss it. So many times a day, I look at my girl and wish I could capture that moment. I've decided that I WILL have a new camera by the end of the year...before Clo clo turns one. Having a hobby again will be good. I need things to keep me busy...as if having a baby isn't work enough...but you know what I mean. I need me things. Things that are "fulfilling." Or so people say. Harrumph!
My latest activity has been working out on the Wii Fit. I really really like it! I especially like the yoga and strength training...I can feel the soreness the next day, so I know it is working. =) My doctor also recommended doing more exercise as a way to keep post partum depression at bay, as I am a likely candidate for it. I have HORRIBLE HORRIBLE anxiety, so take the max dose of anti-anxiety meds for it, along with another anti-anxiety med supplement, and my ob said taking these meds predisposes me for PPD.
I have certainly had my fair share of mood swings, and a bit of...the blues...I hope that's all it is. I've never had true depression before, and I certainly don't want to start now. I have too much to do, and so much to see and experience with my little love, Chloe. I can't WAIT to get her out to the park...the pool...the beach! Zoo, aquarium, everything!!!
I never thought I could love and be in love with somebody/something as much as I am with her =)
You are my world, beautiful baby girl! And your papa is a pretty stand up guy himself. ;)